Roid Models
I solemnly swear that I have been trying my hardest not to comment on the last two scandals in the world of jingo-ified sportmanship: A-Rod (dubbed A-hole by the NY Post, keeping it classy as usual) and his A-Roids, and Michael Phelps tokking it up. What deterred me from commenting was that I first saw the Phelps story on News of the World, and being struck by the paradox of major news outlets such as News of the World, whose name deceives the West by implying that the shit news they turn out actually has social relevance, reporting that, well, some guy was tokking up with his friends. Blasphemy! The reporters were probably smoking their bongs while writing these articles. But, I've conceded that the actions of these athletes do have social relevance, and not because they're going "to influence little Jimmy to smoke pot," mostly because he will smoke pot regardless - so long as this misunderstanding and sensationalization of marijuana persists.
My point of contention with this tyrannical criticism being thrown at Rodriguez and Phelps is that it is committed with the pretense that these men are "supposed to be role models." But sorry there, I missed the point where treading through a large artificial water container and knocking a horsehide-stiched sphere with a piece of tree constituted emulation. Rodriguez and Phelps are not supposed to be role models, and if they are then we don't need to reassess them or their actions, we have to reassess a society that celebrates their talents. I mean, what are their talents anyway? Well, Phelps won like a bazillion gold medals at the Olympic games, which means that he's the best at reasserting American supremacy over all those other little nations we step on within a battlefield where no one actually dies. Yay patriotism!
I know nothing about A-Rod other than that he took steroids in order to maximize his ability on the field, which is really just a sneaky way of maximing America's love for him. Oh and that he is romantically/sexually involves with Madonna and that a lot of people have been up all night over the matter. I think its less pathetic that A-Rod took roids than it is that we actually care about a group of men throwing a ball around.
However, I think its MOST pathetic that we breed men, generally working class and minority, to battle each other so that we can live out our jingoistic desires for simulated war. If anything, sports players are not meant to be role models, but roid models - the idea of them, as warriors, perpetuates a black market of products that are really just used to keep America "sports lovers" assured that each game will be a "good one."
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